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in the embryo of the city
in their cage
they paint their nails not
knowing

that the sun is watching
from his trap door
in the cloud ceiling where
whales can't swim but go

to dream
and drop down their weight in rain
not measured in pints
but lives overflowed

in lost archipelagos full
of automatic islands
that catch the eyes like needles
when viewed from further away

than the end of the world
we're all evolving in the wrong direction
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Daily Deviation

Given 2013-01-23
darwin's revenge by ~thesquareroot ( Suggested by UnspecifiedUnknown and Featured by thorns )
:icontuishimi:
Tuishimi Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2013
Very nice, had me in the first stanza. It's like a hazy dream in my mind.
Reply
:iconneurotype:
neurotype Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Lovely imagery. I found some of the linebreaks awkward, but overall it paints a great picture. :)
Reply
:iconthesquareroot:
thesquareroot Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
sorry if it was awkward. i was trying to use the enjambment in hopes of ostensibly paralleling the archipelago image. thanks for the comment :XD:
Reply
:iconmhi2x:
mhi2x Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
i loved this.....
Reply
:iconthesquareroot:
thesquareroot Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :D
Reply
:iconmhi2x:
mhi2x Featured By Owner Jan 25, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
your welcome....
Reply
:icon7greenrobin7:
7GreenRobin7 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I don't usually comment on poetry, but I really enjoyed this ^^
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:iconthesquareroot:
thesquareroot Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you very much :XD:
Reply
:iconsalum9:
salum9 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
very powerful
Reply
:icongadgetsmith:
Gadgetsmith Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
We really are all evolving in the wrong direction, but it seems nobody is willing to change this.
Reply
:iconthesquareroot:
thesquareroot Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
sad but true..thanks for the comment
Reply
:iconyampuff:
YamPuff Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I just love the contrast of the first few lines 'they paint their nails' and the end 'the end of the world', it just drives the whole point home and the title ties it all together and gives meaning to the words.
I enjoyed reading it! :hug:
Reply
:iconnightshade-keyblade:
nightshade-keyblade Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
"...in lost archipelagos full
of automatic islands
that catch the eyes like needles
when viewed from further away..."

That stanza really caught my eye. It's so true at the rate we are going, arguing about frivolous things.
Reply
:iconsapphire-masquerade:
Sapphire-Masquerade Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013
I didn't understand that, but I do like it. :o
Reply
:iconthesquareroot:
thesquareroot Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
hehe well ty :XD:
Reply
:iconsapphire-masquerade:
Sapphire-Masquerade Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2013
lol np xD
Reply
:iconphoenixaureus:
PhoenixAureus Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Congratulations on the DD! This poem is wonderful, so much truth in so few words :love:
Reply
:iconthesquareroot:
thesquareroot Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ty! :)
Reply
:iconred-london:
Red-London Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013
"they paints their nails" - I'm sorry... but is that a grammatical error?
And... could someone post their interpretation? I honestly don't get the poem at allbut the suggested topic interessts me, so I'd like to join the discussion ^^
Reply
:iconthesquareroot:
thesquareroot Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
why it most certainly is, thank you for pointing that out. boo to my proof reading
Reply
:iconlintu47:
lintu47 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Congrats on the well deserved DD! :dalove:
Have a nice day! :heart:
Reply
:iconeternalfallacy:
EternalFallacy Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I absolutely love the concept behind this poem, the catch phrase in the end is spectacular and breath-taking. It's very rare that the title complements the poem best, while in this case it's just an indissoluble part of the whole composition. Congratulations on getting a DD :heart:
Reply
:iconthesquareroot:
thesquareroot Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
thank you :XD:
Reply
:iconlengkyx:
lengkyx Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
the one who suggested and featured didn't comment either. Congratulations, though! ^^
Reply
:iconthesquareroot:
thesquareroot Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
ty kindly
Reply
:iconred-thorn:
red-thorn Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
My goodness, but do I find so much truth in this.
Reply
:icondarkerhours:
DarkerHours Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Not many comments? But this is a DD? The Poetry is lovely :squee:
Reply
:iconthesquareroot:
thesquareroot Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
wow, i did not even realize that this was DD, which is a first for me..superb :XD:
Reply
:icondarkerhours:
DarkerHours Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Well done :D
Reply
:iconcloud-and-petrichor:
Cloud-and-Petrichor Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
wow, the imagery in this is soo wonderful!
Reply
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